When that strange feeling strikes, my bone shivers and my gut’s draining. I can’t fully describe what I feel right now. I just know that after loosing attachment and getting out of my comfort zone feels like I’m an orphan.
I feel sober when my endorphin mixed with my unstable hormones are being tossed to and fro in my entire system. It seems that I’m in a tub filled with water, drifting and slowly sinking. I’m scared to live yet afraid to die.
I’m behind the windshield of a vintage bus. As I pass along the way, leaves are waving and at the same time I’m leaving a town. The last time that I could remember having the same feeling was when I left our town to work in the city. I always put in mind that I have a strong heart when distance and relationship is being talked about. I thought there are no loopholes that can be found in me, but I felt the little crack inside me.
Flowers are slowly falling that it could no longer attach to the stem, leaves are starting to wither, but still I can see sunshine’s appearing. Life is a mixture of good and bad instances where we don’t have choice, but to face them bravely. Every dark cloud has it’s own silver linings and it made me think less aggravated.
Emotions play when the presence of mind is away. I’m not yet ready treading this lonesome road. I might get lost along the way. I have already loosened the grip to comfort. I’m afraid. I’m scared.